Do not feel obligated to give a compliment in return for one..

I read in a book on assertiveness

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Do not feel obligated to give a compliment in return for one..

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But in our lives, we tend to be obsessed by the tendency to match our compliments with what we expect to get in return or with what we have already received , and never care about whether either receiving or giving such compliments are on real value considerations..

The obsession works in almost all walks of our lives..

In social functions, we have a habit of giving presents.. and usually we try to give presents keeping in mind what we received especially from the host, on a similar occasion when we were conducting such function. We tend to forget the relevance and even our capacity to give..

And in daily interactions, we tend to greet and even patronise undeserving people just because they have said some nice things to us or about us.. It is not necessary..

A conduct certificate from a ruffian is of no value..

And feeling obliged to return a compliment made by a person without character makes us vulnerable.. and we may lose our sense of self worth..

White lies, though not possible to avoid all time, should be used only to the barest minimum

Some people pride themselves to be rude to others most of the time.

.Of course, in moments of remorse, or as a routine trick, they would apologise profusely..

And we just fall to their charm, and try to be polite and even cordial to them.. Within no time, they revert to their usual rude behaviour, then say sorry and we again try to mend the fences.

The process goes on.

Sometimes such people expect nice behaviour and bonhomie from others just because they had made a sort of temporary confession and paved way for truce..

Some even go to the extent of asserting --" Have I not said sorry?-- implying that we have to be normal or even patronizing with them in return for that gesture..

The "likes" and "awesome" s we find in social media come, many of the times through that tendency to barter..

But in the long run, feigned cordiality and camaraderie does not work..

If at all that works, that would be for the detriment of all concerned..

At any time it is far better to keep quiet that show teeth imitating a smile while there is only contempt seething in the mind..