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Sunday, January 08, 2012

Lack of Selfishness

09-12-2006

Lack of Selfishness



I would seem to put to this group something that is too personal and not relevant to the group at all. If you feel so, please ignore this.Today Our marriage completes 19 years. I do not propose to use this forum to send a message to my wife because she will never see this, and she is not interested in groups or in computer either. I just thought how a typical Iyer woman spends her life even today. It was no romantic or idyllic match for us, but a match more dependent on idlis and dosas. But she was absolutely faithful in spite of the eccentric fellow that I was, with ungodly duty hours. If I am to leave for work on a day at 3A.M., she would wake up at 2A.M and cook asmall meal for me, and when I return home 24 or 48 hours later again at a time when only ghosts will walk along the road, she will be waiting for me. I am not an attractive or charismatic man, and by any standards an under-performer.( I often wonder she would have abandoned me had she not been a typical Brahmin Mami ). She is in fact more educated than me and she earns sufficiently for herself through her job. We have a boy of 18 years who is as bad a devil as me demanding too much from his mother. Silently and happily she does everything. What I wrote above are personal. But I feel her attitude in life has been shaped like this because she grew up in a Brahmin family in a typical agraharam where human relations count a lot and reading Dale Carnegie or Stephen Covey is not necessary to learn the basics of life, but the advise of an old grandmother or great grandmother istaken as the gospel truth.I write this as a tribute to every Brahmin woman who builds up her exclusive world around her little family and can make it a heaven or hell (God forbid!) by her actions. Sure, Brahmin life is very different from others even in these modern times. Whatever we learned for thousands of years cannot be unlearned in a few years of ultramodern life. We men will brag and debate on various issues but the rocklike platform is provided by our own faithful (if I may bepermitted to say, faithful to a fault) females. Thanks.

It is now five years later.. but I have had no reason to change my views...rather they are reinforeced.  I am just republishing the above post...even without editing it for spelling mistakes if any. 08-01-2012   K V Ananathanarayanan