musings 127

Just a very funny thought..

My faith, my religion, all originated and grew under the feet of a small Pullayar (Ganaptahy)stationed just at the western end of our street..

In 1959 as a boy of six years or so, I landed up in the agraharam, and at that time my grand uncle..who was partially blind was the priest cum servant of the temple.. and the lord has for his castle a very plain temple and did have the luxurious lighting of a single oil wick lamp for a few minutes for the whole day

and some cooked rice as naivedyam once a day.. brought by the priest himself..

I would accompany the priest every day.. for two reasons..

First, out of affection for the old mama..

Second, if someone visited the temple with two plantains, the priest would have the right to keep with him one of them after offering the naivedyam , and I would get that fruit..

Devotion, bhakthi or whatever you call it was not in my mind, and I did not understand what it was..

Then in May 69 I was initiated into upanayanm, and then I started performing ritualistic poojas too for that pullayar.. especially because my uncle would often officiate as bhoktha in Shraddhams and on such days he was prohibited from entering he sanctum..

(His princely monthly salary at that time was five rupees,, and he had to provide food and oil for lamp for the temple from out of that salary)

My love affair with the Lord started in that innocent and unobtrusive fashion.. and perhaps my first offer to Him was with broomsticks when I cleaned the precincts of the temple

But whether I like it or not the affair took very deep roots..

From a useless urchin, I became a student, a graduate, a post graduate and so many things..

The assistance of Pillayar by way of eatable prasadms and His Divine grace was the mainstay in my life..

Now that Pillayar has grown in stature,

His temple looks very nice.. many devotees throng to his presence..

And He is invariably bountiful to anyone..

Yes, He is gracious even to a casual passer by who would have just stopped to pick some pieces of broken coconut pieces lying before His temple..

Often, I get angry with this glutton of a god..

If there is a frustration of any sort, the first one I would approach with bad words is this manifest God and Friend of mine who also appears as a stone..

Many times, I have promised before Him that I would not interfere in His affairs.. and He need not do that in mine too..

But either of us has not succeeded in that.

The love-hate relation is as strong now almost half a century earlier.

In fact, I rarely offer any material things to this Pullayar..

Rather I find happiness in exploiting Him by taking away eatables, like piece of coconuts, payasam etc free of cost..from His temple.

The mindset of an old priest never changes.. and pilfering from the Deity's place is the birthright of such persons..

But I am not afraid of Him..

If He wanted to punish me, He has so many more valid reasons for that..

If He loves me,He has no compelling reason for that..

I am arrogant, vain, avaricious and bad mouthed..

But I know He loves me..

It is His greatness..

My only prayer to Him..

Pullayarey. Oh my lord let us be friends as long as I live..

You are Immortal and perhaps I am immoral..