my father

Fathers day thoughts make me too nostalgic and emotional..
I have a father whose whole world and dreams revolved around me.. the son right from the day I was born.. I could realize that much later.. He would go to any extent to justify and highlight whatever I tried to do well. He has never found fault with me for anything I did, any time when I blundered and cause hurt for many.. And such episodes were too many..
But he cheated me almost thirty years ago.. He just died. left his body.. and departed.. and that was when I was away from home..on a training.. and could rush back to say goodbye to him after only 24 hours.. Maybe he could not have left that way had I been with him at that time.. But that was the only thing he ever did to hurt me..

He was not a scholar or philosopher and perhaps not  a significant person in any way that the society conceived..
But he was a staunch devotee of Muruga.. the Pazhani Andavar..
He would not refer to the Lord by His many names.
Pazhani Andavar according to him was always Namma Swamy.. our own God..
And he would always repeat, when things were not at all rosy.. Namma Swamy .. our God will solve our problems anyway... He may put us to test , but would never give us up..
But he had some real spiritual wealth with him..
He had come by certain mantrams and certain special ways of worship during his long bachelor life..
He married at 40 and I was born one year later..
And he was planning to teach me all those mantrams..
But I could get only a small percentage of it..
I have to confess that I did not approve much of his spiritual ways and blind faith in Namma Swamy when he was alive..
And I know he was waiting for the time when I would turn around with full faith.
But then death intervened..
Of course I did turn around much later.
Now my faith is absolute and unequivocal.

And he was very particular about one point..
Whatever may be the situation, the poojas and the mantrams should not be appled after taking any Dakshina or other benefits.

He was named as Vaidyanthan but because of his craze for Ganapathy Homam, he got a second name Ganapathy.. and this name stuck so much that most of the people knew him only as Ganapathy..
Only the records of the Government where he served would show his original name..

People used to call him to perform Ganapathy Homam at their homes.. usually he would decline but has performed that in some houses of very close friends..
But then he would not take any dakshina..
I learnt Ganapathy Homam from him..
He used to perform ganapathy homam at home every friday, all days during Karkitakam, all days in navaratri and on every birthday of any family member..

We had often felt skeptic about his craze for that ritual..
He believed that when the fire was in full vigour, and when the God was invoked, and when the Homa dravyam.. essentially a sweet mixture of coconut pieces, jaggery, ghee, and any other permitted edible material was r3ady and if the God is called sincerely with the moola mantram. he believed that Ganapathy appeared on fire with his trunk held up and mouth fully open to received the sweet material..
I remember him, working up his devotion with many chants of moola mantram. and offering the homa dravyam to fire believing in simplicity that Ganapathy was eating..
I really do not know whether his belief is rational or correct, but his faith was beyond any limits..

Yes, I can think of my father only for his blind love for me and for his blind love for our Swamy, and Ganapathy..

And within a year of his departure, I became a father of a Son.. my only possession in this world..

I am a proud father, a very proud father,, because of my Son.
.For me he is the best in this world.. Because of him, it is a very happy fathers day for me..
Pranams to the hallowed memory of my father, who, though left his physical body three decades ago lives with me and lives in me always..
And sweet thoughts for my Son, my only son, who just has the same name as my father.

And when I talk of Krishna I have not doubt that that Krishna is just Our swamy and Ganapthy too..