the knot tied is for ever

 

प्रेत्यभावे हि कल्याण स्सङ्गमो मे सह त्वया।श्रुतिर्हि श्रूयते पुण्या ब्राह्मणानां यशस्विनाम्।।2.29.17।।

इहलोके च पितृभिर्या स्त्री यस्य महामते।अद्भिर्दत्ता स्वधर्मेण प्रेत्यभावेऽपि तस्य सा।।2.29.18।। valmikiramanyanam ayodhyaakaandam.

pretyabhāve hi kalyāṇa ssaṅgamo me saha tvayā।śrutirhi śrūyate puṇyā brāhmaṇānāṃ yaśasvinām।।2.29.17।।

ihaloke ca pitṛbhiryā strī yasya mahāmate।adbhirdattā svadharmeṇa pretyabhāve'pi tasya sā।।2.29.18।।

This quote from Valmikiramayanam, Ayodhyaa Kandam sarga 29, is not just an emotional outpour. It is a solid statement confirming the value of marriage as an institution, as conceived in our culture, according to our greatest Epic.

Kaikeyi destroys or short-circuits the plan for coronation of Rama as the heir apparent of Ayodhya. The boon of Dasaratha binds Rama and he has to adjourn to a life in forest for fourteen year. Rama tells Sita that he would obey the orders of his father and move to forest. Nevertheless, Sita could continue to live in the Palace of Ayodhya. There was no bar for that.

However, the very idea of separation from Rama is even beyond the remotest thoughts of Sita. She insists that she should accompany Rama wherever he goes. The strongest argument she has underlined in the statement given in these two couplets.

“My Lord of immense strength, character and righteousness, the one and only course of glory, welfare and righteousness for me is to be in your inseparable company for ever, in this world. In addition, even if I am dead and become an invisible presence only. I must continue to have that company. Please remember that the most celebrated lawmakers of exemplary repute have all concluded on the authority of Vedas or Shruti that when the parents or people of the clan equivalent to parents, give or entrust her to a man, through pouring water signifying such handing over, the union is irrevocable. The elders conduct the ritual in the traditions prescribed by the rules and practices, and that woman belongs to him and should keep him company in this life and the life afterwards too.

Of course, we Indians value marriage as extremely sacred and as an inseparable bondage between a man and a woman. All civil laws and legislations would keep in view the binding nature of this bond.

But a statement of this fact, when it comes from Sita, especially in a situation ridden by crisis, would provide a great instruction or message for all concerned.

k v a

प्रेत्यभावेऽपि even if I attains the state of preta, even if I am physically dead , त्वया सह सङ्गमः inseparable company with you, मे is for me , कल्याणः the only desirable and auspicious choice in life , यशस्विनाम् by the learned and celebrated ब्राह्मणानाम् scholars पुण्या well defined, auspicious, dharmic श्रुतिः prescription from the Vedas, श्रूयते is understood महामते oh my generous and mighty lord, या स्त्री that woman, when a woman इह लोके in this world, पितृभिः by parents, by the clan, by persons of the status of parents यस्य to whom, स्वधर्मेण in accordance with one's own tradition, according to the dharmic ruls अद्भि: with waters, offered with pouring of water दत्ता is given, is handed over प्रेत्यभावेऽपि even after death, even if the woman dies सा she, तस्य belongs to him. Keeps him constant company.