नष्टो मोहः स्मृतिर्लब्धा त्वत्प्रसादात् मया अच्युत

In the beginning it was a sham of sorts.  Wearing the holy ashes of pazhaniandavar, kalabham of guruvayurappan, kumkumam of mookambika and raksha prasadam from the ganapathihomam  mostly performed by myself.  May be the attempt was to impress others. I am not at all sure whether Krishna was anywhere near my heart..Just telling others that " May Krishna bless you" became a habit, even though an affected one.  But as days passed I started feeling that the black fellow--may be his colour is because of a black glue that simply sticks on you--just started like a special growth inside me.  Now a day has come when  nothing else other than that naughty boy can attract my attention for long. When I commit any perjury, I can easily quote the name of Krishna because he was the greatest thief.  If one is to be called mischievous sinner,  where else has he to go for the role model?  One may wonder whether he lived a life by example for don't dos.. But how sweet is His name, how beautiful his form must be, (no sculptor could ever reflect that beauty in stone, no one can carve or paint his form)  how  learned He is... He can be understood only by the heart.  One can only recall, नष्टो मोहः स्मृतिर्लब्धा त्वत्प्रसादात् मया अच्युत स्थितोस्मि गतसन्देहः करिष्ये वचनं तव  Nashto mohah smritirlabha twatprasaadaat mayaa achyutha... Sthitosmi gatasandehah  karishye vadanam tava... "my doubts are gone, my intellect is kindled by your Grace, Krishna, I will follow your orders"..to say this before the Lord himself, How fortunate was Arjuna..My  sham and supercilious acting is gone...Now for me Krishna is the only real business, the only reality...

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