pachai maamalai pol mene

Sunday, March 01, 2020

marriage rituals etc

The post is about some marriage rituals of Tamil Brahmins... The various unique functions are quite interesting.. and even exciting for the people of that sect.. Some of the rituals are prescribed by the scriptures.. they can be called Vedic and are documented sufficiently and as is usual in the case any set of people who are bound by traditions, but at the same time have caught up with the modern trends in the society, such practices are just gone through by way a process of metamorphosis and they are observed only at minimum level, that too as if it is a part of some rigmarole with little content,, just as if it were something which has to be just observed as inevitable....
But there are many rituals and practices which have evolved simply as cementing factors and outlets for the reiteration of the intense affection that endures among the close relatives..
These functions which can be just called loukeekam or worldly, do not have any scriptural significance..

There was a discussion elsewhere on such loukeeka functions and suggestions for avoiding these..

Could not help being traditional in my comments there.. and I just dealt with some of the rituals.. There are many others too.

Only a person who belongs to our sect, or who is conversant with our unique practices can understand the post..

Still sharing it as my own status post.. for my records.. I know the post will go into oblivion in the group where it is now posted..

"Kasi Yatra and Oonjal and related loukeeka rituals are integral part of our unique culture, and it cannot be given a go by..
The Vedic rituals are already reduced.. and I see the rot in that direction over the past half a century..
Neither the couple or parents, nor the purohita have the time to go through the rituals..with sraddhaa(proper attention and care).. Even the Riks(the vedic chants) of the marriage, The saptapadi Mantrams, Chanting of Sree Sooktham.. invoking the Mangala Devathaa Mahalkshmi before maangalyadharanam.. are seen truncated..

Then the loukeeka rituals do not require the presence of a Vadhyaar(priest)..
So many inherent rights for close relatives are prescribed for functions like Kasi yatra and Mala mattral and Oonjal.. and the ceremonial reception of the bridegroom and the bride.
The Kajal on the eyes is to be smeared by the athai(the paternal aunt), the pacha vazhippu.. or drishti pottu on the cheek is to be placed by mami(maternal uncles wife), in some cases the metti (finger rings made of silver.. worn for the first time during the marriage) has to be placed by mami, the garland has to be placed by the Mama(maternal uncle),, and the mama plays a key role in exchange of garlands.. All the close lday relatives have to participate in the ceremonial circumambulation of he coupe in the oonjal,, to show affection and also to ward off the evil eyes and negative forces.. These are just beliefs.. But how can we just think of giving up all these..
Even the sister tying the second and third knot is just loukeekam.. It is not a vedic requirement.. No vedas would say that the girl should sit in the lap of her father while mangalyadharanam is performed.. That is another loukeeka function..
Of course, unnecessary delay and posing for videos, and ineligible persons intruding into the vedic site where rituals are performed can be avoided.. but who cares about that..
I think if the persons concerned are tough enough, neither Vadhyaar nor his tuft will move excessively.."






Many things in life.. though by nature vestigial, are observed just to give some semblance of reality to what are just dreams.. something that belong to the twilight region between reality and myth.. You can even call them white lies of life.. But many such lies or half truths sustain us and keep us smiling even on the face of painful or dreary realities of life.. All festivities and most of the rituals are just props of this category.. Without some sort of formal rituals, the day to day life and social transactions can be quite lack-lustre..
I have presented the writeup in that light.. It is a fact that even a biological co habitation between a man and a woman without any ritual can serve the physical and financial purpose of a marriage.. And in any society, many of the rituals were anachronistic.. because basically nostalgia knows no time and often not even propriety..
True, the marriage rituals, envisaged centuries ago.. set in the background of the social milieau of that slice of time, can often look even absurd if we put too much of rationality and put the head instead of heart in the matter..
But life is a mixture of the activities of the head as also the activities of the heart.


Once the samavartanam is over, the brahmachari becomes elgible for grihasta life and he is in search of a suitable bride.. The Kasi Yatra is just a funny symbol.. No one starts to go to Kasi with mill-fresh clothes, wearing garlands and someone else holding umbrella for him and with all regal splendour.. If you analyze the rational wisdom about this function, you will fail.. A Varanasi bound mendicants attitude and attire and those of the groom embarking on Kasi Yatra are diametrically opposite..
Many other loukeeka functions like nalungu are also funny and out of time.. but then even many sports and games are full of absurdities.. We human beings are bundles of absurdities.. what else can we expect of such people...


It is not the scarcity of books that affects us.. We have lost the basic respect for our traditions. although we continue to pay lip support.. And while we are not being generous in paying dakshina to the priests, they in turn have become more commercial too.. And even for cooking for Sraadham and Antheyshti we have started depending on catering services.. The ground is being washed away from under our feet..
It is another question whether such rituals have any real effect.. I do believe that they have great effect and that non performance or defective performance can affect the welfare of our families and ourselves.. Maybe I am wrong

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