musings 92

there are basic issues..

Interaction and conversation with people around can be effective

if

and only if

those around share interests, ideas or even idiocies..

I am very odd.. I hardly find any audience very close to me physically

(I promise, I brush my teeth, and take bath too)

.. Of course, I would indulge in some metaphysical and philosophical conversation with my son too but that his very rare..

I am careless and disinterested with many things personal and of immediate importance to people around me.

. I would not mind if I have not taken my breakfast or lunch in time, and I would hardly enquire whether anyone in my house has done so..

I will brush my teeth, of course, take a bath, smear my body with viboothi and would do pooja but I would not care about combing my hair, or selecting a dress to wear..

Whatever I find at the top in a stack is fit for me to wear..

I cannot even identify which are the T Shirts or Dhoties that are used by me and which are used by my son..

He knows, that is good enough for me..

Thank God I can see the difference between a sari and a dhoti.. that is a relief..

When I hear a song, when I see a book, a fine article, I can go into ecstasy..

But although I would get scared if my pension account does not get credited every month in time, I am not bothered about how money is spent..

Usually I do not notice or taste the food I eat..

Whatever comes is fine.. it should be not flesh or egg, that is all..

Just tell me, who at home or in the neighbourhood would care to indulge in pleasant conversation with me..?

(actually this was a poser to my senior friend Shivam Perinkulam mama)

The process of writing happens to me like this..

I see or read or one of my sense organs discover something..

The data is perceived by two persons inside me..

One, my brain and intellect, with all its sharpness and idiocy too..

The second one is my mind brimming with all emotions from love, empathy, to hate and rage..and it is a very mad mind, madder than most normal minds..

The data affects both and they evaluate, exchange notes, argue, fight, go mad at one another.. This interaction and dialogue between brain and mind just spills over as words.. and my fingers just deliver them.. not even caring to edit..

So my writing is the free flow of blood gushing out of the fiery fight between my mind and body..

Once the blood is flowing, it is better to let is go out of me.. If not it will accumulate in my mind and thoughts and perhaps rot there and damage both my mind and brain..

So I write for myself, rather than for those who read.. My lovely readers you are the victims

Those who are near and close to me physically have given up on me and would avoid me especially when I am in my creative mood..

Some friends in the web read and interact.. It is not my fault..They will learn their lesson..

That is all I can say..