gifts from elders and affectionate souls should never be refused

In fact the gifts from elders and affectionate souls should never be refused.

Receiving gift is a recognized duty and punyakarman according to shastras.

We should only ensure that the person who gives us the gift is not directly or indirectly not our well wisher.

Even in such cases it is better to make a show of acceptance and then disposing off the material somehow.

Nowadays it has become a fashion to record in marriage, poonal etc invitations that presents should be avoided.

That is not actually permitted by our traditions.

In poonal(yajopaveetha/brahmopadesha ceremony) one important function is bhikshatanam.

That means begging.

And marriages are expected to be conducted collectivel by the kith and kin.Anyonya paraspara sahayena. So everyone should contribute as a matter if duty and such sincere presents should be accepted graciously.

Refusal of a gift was never thought of.

The present attitude if some people smack of arrogance.

Of course pratigraham from asats असत् asataam pratigraham असतां प्रतिग्रहम् can incur sin.. but then asats should be avoided even otherwise.

You must realize that the elder persons' mind would burn in sorrow if he is not able to give something to the one who offers pranams. Can such gift ever be refused?

The pouring of rice grains or akshata by way of aseervatham itself is in the form of gift of infinite quantity

Akshatam means full or whole or infinitely large

There is nothing shameful or wrong for a brahmin receiving dakshina.

In fact while other people are entitled only to give daanam Manu and other rishis have prescribed the right to receive dakshina only to brahmins.

If I am ashamed to take dakshina I am actually ashamed to be a brahmin.

Is that necessary?

Taking dakshina is right.

But showing avarice demanding excessively for it or cursing someone for inadequate dakshina-these are not expected of a brahmin . That is all