It is the aachaaram for a particular region if such traditions are in use for many generations..

यस्मिन् देशे य आचारः पारंपर्यक्रमागतः। श्रुतिस्मृत्यविरोधेन सदाचार स उच्यते॥संस्कारमञ्जर्याम्॥

yasmin deśe ya ācāraḥ pāraṁparyakramāgataḥ| śrutismṛtyavirodhena sadācāra sa ucyate||

saṁskāramañjaryām||

The normal good traditions to be followed in social and spiritual matters may be broadly called AAchaaram or more clearly Sadaachaaram.

AAcharam has two elements.. local precedents and traditins.. and sanction by shrutis and smritis..

In the text Samskaaramanjari as quoted by Deekshita in smritimukthalam it is said/

"It is the aachaaram for a particular region if such traditions are in use for many generations.. and such traditions should not be in oppositions to Shruti and Smriti ( Shruti.. means Veda and allied texts..Smriti.. means the treatises given by great rishis in furtherance and as aids to implementations of the dictates of Vedas..) .."

The traditions of a place which are followed for generations which are not in contradiction with Shrutis and Smrits are the good Acharams or Sadaacharams for that area.

Our sages have always given leeway for changed circumstances as per variations in living condition.. but the fundamental rules are immutable..

no gesture would be adequate

यदाशक्ति प्रदानेन स्नापनाच्छादनेन च।

न सुप्रतिकरं तत्तु मात्रा पित्रा च यत्कृतम्॥

दीक्षितीये

yadāśakti pradānena snāpanācchādanena ca|

na supratikaraṁ tattu mātrā pitrā ca yatkṛtam||

dīkṣitīye

While highlighting and praising the importance of offerings to the departed parents by way of Shraddham or periodic memorial offerings, almost all great authorities advise that such elders should be remembered with utmost gratitude by providing bath, water to drink and meals and clothes to persons who is being invited as guest representing the pitrus. It is aslo advised that one should apply bis best energies and all possible resources in honouring the elders by remembering them periodically.

But even that authoritative instruction from Vaidyanatha Deekshita is qualified by this introspection.

"Will it be adequate expression of gratitude and will it be sufficient repayment for all that the father and mother have done to us in the process of making us what we are, just by providing water,bath and clothes on the memorial day ?"

It is not the idea that the memory should not be worshipped in the best way possible. But we need not take any sort of pride in performing such acts. Remembering the elders with gratitude and paying respect to them on some particular day is a very insignificant gesture when we think of what all things our father and mother have done to us during their lifetime.

Of course, we remember their value only after it is too late.

And it is another tragic fact that most of us care very little to give even a semblance of happiness to our parents when they are alive.

After all, a man or woman is born in this world without any capacity to do anything, without even the capacity to just keep alive. The kids of goat or calves just stand on their legs and run around moments after they are delivered. A human baby cannot even open its eyes or breathe properly when it is born. If the father and mother and other loving ones did not care, will the child survive at all ?