RIP Mohammed mama...

RIP Mohammed mama...

a memory which is more than  sixty years comes back.. I was just a child of one and half years.. born at Kottakkal in a predominantly Muslim and non brahmin area..and having not much of exposure to Iyers and their ways till then..My constant companion in my infancy was a mohammed mama..Our family migrated to nearby places like Tirur and Parappanangadi. and still he was with us. I never found anything queer in having a Mohammed mama with us at that time, and even now I cannot find anything amiss..
He is now dead and gone. He was sort of assistant to my father and he used to occupy the front of our house when there was no other work..

Once I remember, I was venturing out of the house
-- it must be in Thrikkandiyur, Tirur--
 a small boy of one-and half years, and fell down and hit my lower jaw on a sharp stone and there was a free flow of blood.. No doctor nearby and the gash needed stitches. Mohammed mama saw me fall and get wounded, and he would not even wait to warn my mother about it.. my father had gone out on some work..Mohammed mama simply ran carrying me to the dispensary four miles away, and got the wound mended.. Doctor's fee was not an issue because the latter was known to my father..

But Mohammed mama had ruined the only white shirt, that is his sole possession to give him the  semblance of modern man.. the entire shirt was soaked in blood..

Of course, my father gave him a blue shirt in place of that white shirt and I have seen him wearing that every day afterwards..

That deep wound scar is seen in my lower jaw to this day..

At our house whenever food was cooked those days, one member who was included was Mohammed Mama. This is in spite of the fact that our parents were orthodox to the core.. Poojas, Japams... Ganapathi homam and what not..

But Mohammed mama was always there..

Subsequently, we migrated to Palakkad and Mohammed mama could not come with us because of his personal commitments..
When the news was received  that he had passed away a few years later, I know I have cried as if a close relative, an uncle, and a benefactor has left the scene..

RIP Mohammed mama...

FATHER FORGETS

a very touching article I found

FATHER FORGETS

W. Livingston Larned

          Listen, son: I am saying this as you lie asleep, one little paw crumpled under your cheek and the blond curls stickily wet on your damp forehead. I have stolen into your room alone.  Just a few minutes ago, as I sat reading my paper in the library, a stifling wave of remorse swept over me. Guiltily I came to your bedside.

    

            There are the things I was thinking, son: I had been cross to you. I scolded you as you were dressing for school because you gave your face merely a dab with a towel. I took you to task for not cleaning your shoes. I called out angrily when you threw some of your things on the floor.

    

            At breakfast I found fault, too. You spilled things. You gulped down your food. You put your elbows on the table. You spread butter too thick on your bread. And as you started off to play and I made for my train, you turned and waved a hand and called, "Goodbye, Daddy!" and I frowned, and said in reply, "Hold your shoulders back!"

    

           Then it began all over again in the late afternoon. As I came up the road I spied you, down on your knees, playing marbles. There were holes in your stockings. I humiliated you before your boyfriends by marching you ahead of me to the house. Stockings were expensive-and if you had to buy them you would be more careful! Imagine that, son, from a father!

   

         Do you remember, later, when I was reading in the library, how you came in timidly, with a sort of hurt look in your eyes? When I glanced up over my paper, impatient at the interruption, you hesitated at the door. "What is it you want?" I snapped. You said nothing, but ran across in one tempestuous plunge, and threw your arms around my neck and kissed me, and your small arms tightened with an affection that God had set blooming in your heart and which even neglect could not wither. And then you were gone, pattering up the stairs.

   

        Well, son, it was shortly afterwards that my paper slipped from my hands and a terrible sickening fear came over me. What has habit been doing to me? The habit of finding fault, of reprimanding-this was my reward to you for being a boy. It was not that I did not love  you; it was that I expected too much of youth. I was measuring you by the yardstick of my own years.

     

       And there was so much that was good and fine and true in your character. The little heart of you was as big as the dawn itself over the wide hills. This was shown by your spontaneous impulse to rush in and kiss me good night. Nothing else matters tonight,son. I have come to your bedside in the darkness, and I have knelt there, ashamed!

        

        It is feeble atonement; I know you would not understand these things if I told them to you during your waking hours. But tomorrow I will be a real daddy! I will chum with you, and  suffer when you suffer, and laugh when you laugh. I will bite my tongue when impatient words come. I will keep saying as if it were a ritual: "He is nothing but a boy-a little boy!"

         

       I am afraid I have visualised you as a man. Yet as I see you now, son, crumpled and weary in your cot, I see that you are still a baby. Yesterday you were in your mother's arms, your head on her shoulder. I have asked too much, too much, yet given too little of myself. Promise me, as I teach you to have the manners of a man, that you will remind me how to have the loving spirit of a child.

Lack of Selfishness

09-12-2006

Lack of Selfishness


I would seem to put to this group something that is too personal and not relevant to the group at all. If you feel so, please ignore this.Today Our marriage completes 19 years. I do not propose to use this forum to send a message to my wife because she will never see this, and she is not interested in groups or in computer either. I just thought how a typical Iyer woman spends her life even today. It was no romantic or idyllic match for us, but a match more dependent on idlis and dosas. But she was absolutely faithful in spite of the eccentric fellow that I was, with ungodly duty hours. If I am to leave for work on a day at 3A.M., she would wake up at 2A.M and cook a small meal for me, and when I return home 24 or 48 hours later again at a time when only ghosts will walk along the road, she will be waiting for me. I am not an attractive or charismatic man, and by any standards an under-performer.( I often wonder she would have abandoned me had she not been a typical Brahmin Mami ). She is in fact more educated than me and she earns sufficiently for herself through her job. We have a boy of 18 years who is as bad a devil as me demanding too much from his mother. Silently and happily she does everything. What I wrote above are personal. But I feel her attitude in life has been shaped like this because she grew up in a Brahmin family in a typical agraharam where human relations count a lot and reading Dale Carnegie or Stephen Covey is not necessary to learn the basics of life, but the advise of an old grandmother or great grandmother is taken as the gospel truth.I write this as a tribute to every Brahmin woman who builds up her exclusive world around her little family and can make it a heaven or hell (God forbid!) by her actions. Sure, Brahmin life is very different from others even in these modern times. Whatever we learned for thousands of years cannot be unlearned in a few years of ultramodern life. We men will brag and debate on various issues but the rock-like platform is provided by our own faithful (if I may be permitted to say, faithful to a fault) females. Thanks.

It is now five years later.. but I have had no reason to change my views...rather they are reinforeced.  I am just republishing the above post...even without editing it for spelling mistakes if any. 08-01-2012   K V Ananathanarayanan

It is further eight  years later...  I have absolutely no reason to  change my views  in any way.. 
kvananthanarayanan

Ambi Mama

I have no celebration for  Vaikunta Ekadasi today because my Ambi Mama passed away yesterday.. my own eldest maternal uncle, must be more that ninety.  I am in Trivandrum and  with difficulty to travel I could not go to Coimbatore to see him for the last time.  Must go to see the elderly mami within ten days. 

He was a good man ultimately.. people who can  do no harm to  others apart from just shouting  angrily without any rancour in mind can  be really termed as good. 

He was an employee of Government of Kerala and had lived for more years than his service to draw pension, and now leaves mami to draw family pension also. 

But the greatest quality to be given credit  is that in spite of being a clerk and superintendent in the Public Works Department, where one can get rewarded even for just simply occupying the seat, the man was surprisingly clean..one can say with absolute conviction that he did not take benefits either in cash or kind for favours done.. Indeed a great achievement for a government servant and a PWD employee.

He was childless..This fact has nagged him for about 56 years of married life.. He adopted a nice girl.. but still..

He was blind for the past twenty years or so.  Even earlier  right from childhood he was wearing highly negatively powered glasses for short-sight . a family heirloom for at least fifty percent of our family members. 

But his lack of vision did not impair his capacity to speak out.  Even when he knew that his was an isolated voice, he would shout incessantly if he smelt someone was dirtying the municipal road.  The people in the agraharam gave him the title "Public Road" for this quality. But such public heckling never bothered him.  He could not sleep without calling a spade a spade, however unpleasant his words were. 

I have inherited many of his characteristics, perhaps excepting his stinginess( understandable as he was born in a big poor family of eight siblings)  and short-sight . But being the wrong birds of the same feather, we were not at all friendly with each  another.  When I was a small boy he would shout at me.  But when I grew into a postgraduate and a gazetted officer ( he was never destined to be one)  he would not face me but shout at me to his heart's content ensuring that I was present somewhere in the earshot. 

After migrating to trivandrum,  I have not seen him for the past ten years.. Not even talked to him all these years.  Still I was conscious of his presence as a Jambavan in our family..

He lost his three immediately following siblings one above and two below earlier.  My mother is now the senior-most  (at eighty three or four) in the line.  That realization  adds pace to my heartbeats.

I have no health to run to Coimbatore before the funeral, but my mind feels the  void  created by the vacancy of my own Ambi Mama,  Sekharipuram Vaidyanatha Iyer Vaidyanathan

Take him under your protective Grace, Krishna.

BURNED BISCUITS.

this is a forward from my dearest friend Karunakaran.  It touches certain parts of the heart in an inexplicable way

BURNED BISCUITS...............
 
When I was a kid, my mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then. And I remember one night in particular when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work. On that evening so long ago, my mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage and extremely burned biscuits in front of my dad. I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed! Yet all my dad did was reach for his biscuit, smile at my mom and ask me how my day was at school. I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do remember watching him smear butter and jelly on that biscuit and eat every bite!
When I got up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my mom apologize to my dad for burning the biscuits. And I'll never forget what he said: "Honey, I love burned biscuits."
Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if he really liked his biscuits burned. He wrapped me in his arms and said, "Your Momma put in a hard day at work today and she's real tired. And besides - a little burned biscuit never hurt anyone!"
 
You know, life is full of imperfect things.....and imperfect people. I'm not the best at hardly anything, and I forget birthdays and anniversaries just like everyone else.
What I've learned over the years is that learning to accept each other's faults - and choosing to celebrate each other's differences - is one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting relationship.
We could extend this to any relationship. In fact, understanding is the base of any relationship, be it a husband-wife or parent-child or friendship!
"Don't put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket - keep it in your own."

God Bless You.....  Now, and Always....  

--

gita vishnupattar

Relevance of Bagavat Gita  in the modern era

Bagvat gita, is a text of eternal value even if its authorship by the  JagatGuru Sri Krishna is not consedered for a momemt. 

The greatest  warrior of the generation, on whose individual prowess the entire fate of the honour of  Pandavas  and redeeming of the self respect of  the tragic victim of all sorts of humiliations that could be heaped on a female, Draupadi, hinges, the incomparable Arjuna develops a sort of psychological and physical burnout at the vital moment when he is required to perform… and where failure of this one person would herald  annihilation to his own brothers, wife and kinsmen and  the eternal fame he had accumulated over a lifetime.  He   is suddenly on the verge of collapse, shorn off all bravado and dropping his divine bow and perspiring profusely, he just collapsed on the floor of his chariot like a lame duck cut on its throat by a butcher.  His alter ego, Krishna, the most valorous fighter of  all times even though his role is limited to a charioteer wielding  the whip handle  is now willy nilly forced to set  right everything  . For this he has to muster all his multifarious capabilities, that of a friend, psychologist, adept in scriptures, adept in lifestyle studies

( yogas) and ultimately revelation of  the divine fountainhead.  How  Krishna managed it and  how he transformed Arjuna  and  persuaded and prompted him to declare repeatedly’  “ my mental indecisiveness and physical debilities have  vanished,  my intellect is rejuvenated, and I am standing before you eagerly awaiting your orders  which I am bound to execute”.

How LORD KRISHNA  achieved this, is a matter of relevance not only to the storyline of the epic Mahaharatha, but to the healthy  existence of the human race in all its sanity  till this day and for the days to come.  This is the relevance of Gita  to modern man.
                                                                                           
There are many quintessential   statements by the Lord, Arjuna and others which stand out and  indicate the real  import of the philosophy of Geetha. 

Let us see this verse uttered by  Sanjaya:-

Yatra yogeswarah  krishnah yatra paartho dhanurdharah

Tatra sreer vijayo boothir  dhruvaaneethir mahtirmamama

यत्र योगेश्वरः कृष्णो यत्र पार्थो धनुर्धरः।
तत्र श्रीर्विजयो भूतिर्ध्रुवानीतिर् मतिर्मम॥

Where the Yogswara that is Krishna  and Arjuna wielding  ganadeeva are present,  there will not be any paucity for virtuous plentitude,  victory   self-satisfaction and righteousness.

One can see the raw power in the allegory of Arjuna, wielding weapons.  If he is in full swing, what will happen?  All enemies will be annihilates and all their terrestrial wealth  would be confiscated.  Raw power in action.. 

But in the presence of Geethacharya  the Krishna, the indiscriminate application of power is impossible. The billion to the power of billion megatons of energy available in the tip of arjunas weapon can be triggered into action only with the implicit permission   of the yogeswara  Krishna.  The meaning of the word yoga is too wide to be described in a few words.  It will be elucidated in due course.  But the usual simple meaning of yoga can be taken as the process of judicious mixture.   The yogeswara Krishna brings in such admixture, neither too soft nor too punishing..

I am not quoting any managerial jargons here as   I believe that people understand management if the jargons are avoided. If the lord had willed that gita should be full of clichés and jargons, he would have definitely done the needful.

Possession power  with the wisdom  to exercise it  only when it is inevitable is one of the greatest principle of human life, life management or whatever it is called.

One has to record with regret that such a magnificent duo like Krishna and Arjuna were never again born. Krishna said “ Sambavaami Yugey, yugey”  but he should come every time with his friend Arjuna the dynamite

 Kakka Raman and Vishnu Pattar  Break the law.

Kaakka Rama Iyer had a very close friend by name Ananthakrishna Iyer.. Some say that Ananthakrishna Iyer had been in Ceylon for sometime and there is another school of thought that he was a peon in a British company which did business in slaughtering animals and exporting the flesh.  Whatever it may be the man had become very pious  when he landed up in our agraharam, but he had no place to live.  So Rama Iyer gracefully volunteered to offer  the Iyer number two the privilege of occupying the open thinnai of  Kakkais house as a dwelling place. Ananthankrishna Iyer sported a very huge oordhwapundram (naammam) and  the daily  performance of his make-up operation  was a sight to see.  The village urchins would crowd around him while he deftly pasted namakkatti on his palm and drew and big  U on his wide forehead, followed by  a long red line  in the internal bisecting area using  thirummannu..  And once the makeup was finished, he looked just like Mahavishnu and hence the village people always called him Vishnu Pattar when he was not present within earshot.

Kakkai and Vishnu were a professional pair.  They always went together for partaking in  Sraadhams or  getting Dakshina or dhaanam on good or bad occasions. 

One day they went for Sraadham in Pallipuram village. It was almost five miles from our agraharam. You must remember it was almost 45  years ago and there were not  many buses and the Laurel and Hardy could not afford to pay the bus fare also.  They had to cross an open railway line near  palakkad town railway  station and they successfully negotiated  Lakshman Rekha  in the morning during their onward Journey. But while returning  after sraadhdham, they again crossed the railway line and was accosted by  a railway policeman.  The innocent Brahmins did not know that crossing the railway track and making the railway premises  a thoroughfare was a punishable offence.   Had they told the policeman that they did not know the law and apologized, he would have left them go.  However in their innocent haughtiness,  they told him to  mind his business and that they were not afraid of any police, especially railway police.  The enraged policeman booked a case against them for trespassing and gave  a summons  directing them  to attend the sub-magistrates court one week later and let them go for the time being. The poor Brahmins could have given some wrong names and addresses and got away with it but they were too innocent.

   On the day of the great trial the duo,  clad in soman and uthareeyam, Mr Vishnu sporting naamam and Mr Raman filling his forehead with three broad white lines of Viboothy,  presented themselves in the Court very early in the morning.  The magistrate arrived in due course and seeing  two Brahmins standing  in the courtyard  (the magistrate was also an Iyer), said that there was no sraadham or tarpanam  being conducted in the court.  The Brahmins said they had been booked by railway police and there was a case against them.

  Finally the case was called, and R and V presented themselves in the dock.   The magistrate asked them whether they had committed any offence for which they stated in unison that they had done nothing but had only crossed the railway line. Even at this stage they were not aware that this was an offence.  The magistrate could have let them free had they sought  pardon. But they would not do it because  they could not dream of any crime being committed by them.  Ultimately the Magistrate reluctantly fined them eight  anna each.  

And once the fine was ordered, the two poor Brahmins could leave the court only after paying the fine and eight annas each was far beyond their capacity to pay.  They were pleading with everybody requesting that they be allowed to go.  Nothing worked.

Finally the magistrate came to know  of it and he did a very wonderful thing.  He took a one  rupee coin from his own pocket and asked  the court clerk to  issue the receipt for the fine to  Mr Kakkai and Mr Vishnu.    May be Vishnu rode the Kaakkai vahanam  high on that day.

Establishment of Family Values through the Institution of Marriage

Suka is described thus in Srimad bhaagavatam: 

``A mahaayogi who has realized the equanimous Brahman, who does not see any difference between various happenings, who constantly resides and is focused in that stage, who is awakened from the reverie of mAya, and who isapparently dull witted.''

Once vyAsa was following his son across a river where women were bathing.  Suka was not wearing anything. The bathing women were indifferent to him. However, as vyAsa passed them, they covered themselves with clothes. When the surprised vyAsa asked the women the reason for this, they said, `You still have the discrimination between she and he, her and him whereas in SukAchArya's unsullied perception there is no such distinction!'

After his formal education in the Vedas and other scriptures, Suka was asked by his father to follow the natural path of gR^ihasthASrama. As we have seen earlier, Suka was already a realized sage for whom the pleasures of the senses had totally no relevance. He debated the futility of gR^ihasthASrama with his learned father.

Suka: Sir, why do you insist on the avidya of marriage, when you know that I am fully immersed in the higher self? Don't you agree that seeking happiness is also seeking sorrow? I am now in a state of absolute bliss focused as I am on the infinite. Where is the need for me to descend to a level when I would be deprived of that, and instead will have a mix of pain and pleasure? Marriage will make me a slave. Even a prisoner in chain has hopes of freedom, but there is no escape for a married person. The wise men, therefore, keep away from all sense pleasure as if they are the excrement of the body. For the learned souls there is no higher happiness than constantly dwelling in the aatman in a liberated state of mind. Please advise me, wise sage, why I should give up Satyam, Sivam and Sundaram. Why do you want to push me into the orbit of samsaara where I will be compelled to move round and round like the hapless planets? What valid reason is there to stoop to the level of pigs and dogs? After repeated lower births we attain the birth of human beings with the ability for higher learning. Why do you want me to dig low again? Now I am beyond the binding energies of triguNa. Why the bondage again?

VyAsa: I do not doubt, for a moment, your immense learning. My dear son, a house is not a prison. Detachment from the phenomenal world is a mental state. Even a married person can be free from attachment, and yet perform the role of householder. By earning in the right way, discharging duties with devotion, being truthful in thought, word and deed, it is possible to lead a flawless life of a liberated soul even in gR^ihasthASrama. You must marry in order to support brahmachaaris, yatis (saints), and those in vaanaprasthASrama. They depend on you so that they can discharge the duties appropriate to their aasrama. You also need to pay your debts to the other entities such as the birds and animals, forefathers and gods. Penance comes after fulfilling your duties to them.

You may not know how powerful the drives of senses are. You might think that you have them under complete control. Even R^Shi ViSvAmitra could not resist Menaka, in spite of his penance for three thousand years without a morsel of food. parASara, the very avatAra of mahAviShNu fell to satyavati. You have to marry and go through the motions if you want to avoid waywardness.

Suka: Respectful sage, please tell me how I can find happiness in the indrajAla of money, the poisonous bondage to the body? A desire-less person is happier than indra himself, even though he may be a mere beggar. How often indra was jealous of a mendicant seer doing penance and provoked the demons to disturb such penance! Hasn't he even sought Lord Siva to destroy the penance of a yogi? The materially wealthy spend sleepless nights. Why do you push me in to the vicious and miserable cycle of birth, suffering, old age and death?

Oh! To serve others for a living! Isn't flattery an important component of serving? Ugh! Sycophancy, after all my learning and wisdom! Even death is better.

Take food for instance. Now I do not have to worry about what I eat and when. Can I afford that indifference as a gR^ihastha? I am least interested in action. Teach me, worthy aachaarya, how to destroy karma and accumulation of asset and liability of action, and how to dissolve the cause of birth.

Hearing his son's fervent and logical appeal, vyAsa was overcome by grief.

Suka noticed his father's sadness and thought to himself, `My father is no ordinary mortal. He is a matchless scholar. But he is also in a delusion and is unhappy because of maaya. My only refuge is the Divine Mother. Even Gods Indra and Trimurtis are controlled by Her energy which is infinite. We are told that vyaasa is an amSa (integral part) of viShNu, but he is now like a wrecked ship, deluded and in tears. The five elements are the cause of his grief, and I am responsible for his sorrow.'

Suka prayed to the Divine Mother, and talked consolingly to his father, `Sire, you are verily my God. You have a great capacity for flawless reasoning, and discourse. I do not have to tell you that your sorrow is borne out of delusion. But dear father, can hunger be satisfied by looking at the sun? Food, water and all the related business can stop but not satisfy the sun. To control the sense related activity, they must be entertained, but not the sun! Are not all sense pleasures related to and be satisfied with materialism? Alas, only a miser can make and save money. What a misfit I am, in that sphere! I know that I am a brahmin, and that to be born so and be formed as a R^iShi is a boon. But I feel that I am not fully liberated. Teach me how not to enter a mother's womb again.' vyAsa felt happy and admired the wisdom and true humility of his son.

He looked at Suka fondly, and said, `Recite the bhagavad gIta. By constant recitation you acquire JNAna and viJNAna.'

Suka then went to vaTapatraSaayi viShNu, and asked `Divine Mother, why am I unhappy?' He heard Her reply, `I am in all. There is nothing new other than the ancient.' He also had Her darSan. Contemplating on her response and seeing Her in the purest form of viShNu, he queried, `How is this tree created? How did I come into being?' There was silence for some time. She then talked, `Why do you doubt my energy? You are confused. I know that I am the eternal energy. At the end of mahApraLaya, my unmanifested energy will manifest as Myself. Then everything - brahma, viShNu and even you - will be created, then the basic energy for the visible universe will emerge, and all that is moving and not moving will be created. So, self-knowledge is the source of liberation. But you need my grace and will for that. Touch your intuitive powers, and you will find secret of creation which is passed on in a chain reaction, and passed on. Recite the chapters of devii bhaagavataM relating to eternal energy. It will provide you relief from bondage which will help you banish darkness.'

Reciting devii bhaagavataM, however, did not bring the desired peace for Suka. He still felt disturbed; he became more aloof and depressed.

Seeing this, vyaasa talked to his wise son. `Why are you like an indebted person? Am I not with you to provide anything that you need? If all the theories do not bring you the inner calmness, go to janaka who is a brahmaJNaani, a true saint and incarnation of unsullied knowledge. Seek from him the essence of liberation, and eternal joy.' If formal learning does not help, residency with seers who can teach applied knowledge will certainly be of use. janaka mahaaraaja is an embodiment of perfect living. When Suka heard of the sterling qualities of janaka, he just could not believe that it was possible to lead such a life, like lotus in slime, and like water on the lotus leaf. He decided to meet the king in person, after assuring his father that he would return and pursue the study of the vedas.

It took two to three years to reach mithila, the capital of janaka's kingdom. On the way he met wise sages, yogis, relinquished people leading vaanaprasthASrama and others doing penance. He crossed the meru mountain, and at last reached the gates of mithila where he was stopped by the guards. However, the shining face of the young sage, his excellent posture and nonchalant looks did not earn him an entry. The guards stopped him politely, and asked for the reason of his visit. His ego punctured, Suka felt deeply depressed. He said to himself, `Why did I spend all my energy in this futile travel? This city looks dead; it is without body or soul.' Soon he overcame his anger and explained at length the purpose of his visit, after duly introducing himself as the son of vyAsa. The guards tested his wisdom by asking him to distinguish between happiness and sorrow.

Now Suka was in his elements. He said, `Lust, desire and avarice result in sorrow. Contemplation on the Atman and devotion to God is happiness. ekAnta - not that of a recluse as one generally misunderstands the term, but pursuit of sense pleasures leads to misery. vedAnta and aatma-chintana give lasting happiness. The guards were satisfied of the genuine wisdom of the young sage, and took him to a pleasant abode, passing through many security gates. The beautiful young women who served the sage did not cause a flutter in his heart. He was least agitated by their luscious presence even after the sun set when the cool fragrant wind pervaded the place.

The next morning, the Emperor arrived with his regalia, paid respects to Suka, inquired the health of his illustrious father, offered presents of cows and sweetmeat as befitting an eminent guest, and sought his permission for a conversation.

janaka: I am but a ruler of a kingdom with all the attendant responsibilities, but you are a detached, contended, peaceful person wanting nothing. I am honored by your visit. Pray, of what assistance can I be?

Suka was instantly struck by the true humility of the great king and paid due homage.

Suka:  Your excellency, the matter seems simple. My respectful father is eager that I should marry and lead the life of a gR^ihastha, but my mind does not accept his wish. He said Your excellency is the most liberated soul, and that you are the most detached person, burdened as you are with the onerous duties of a king. So he sent me to you for being convinced of the need for gR^ihasthaaSrama. I think that marriage and my temperament are a contradiction like the presence of a flower in the sky. I am interested in total liberation, and nothing else. I do not want to disobey my worthy father. Venerable king, please tell me why I should marry. Please also clear my other doubts. Are penance, pilgrimage, yaJNa and vedic learning true liberation or is there a higher JNAna?

janaka: `Let me tell you what little I know. After upanayanaM every young person should learn the Vedas through an aachaarya (worthy teacher), and then the vedAnta. On completion of formal learning, he should pay appropriateguru dakShiNa (compensation) before taking leave of the teacher.

It is expected that he should then marry and enter the next phase, that of gR^ihasthaaSrama. The apt dharma for a householder includes righteousness, contentment, eschewing desires, a pure heart and a truthful mind, and agnihotram (performance of homa and maintenance of the three perennial domestic fires). In due course of time, he has progeny and the responsibilities attached thereto.

After discharging the functions of a father, he enters the vAnaprasthASrama. He then strives to conquer the inner force. As he approaches success in this noble effort, he hands over the care of his wife to his children, having invoked the inner heat from his soul and realizing the dharma of renunciation. He then dons the robe of a sannyAsin and follows the path of final liberation through self purification and total detachment.

My son, sense gratification has no place in one's attempt to control the inner force which is the real wealth for the seeker of liberation. But all the prescribed steps are necessary without which one might falter.

Suka politely interjected.

Suka: If the heart is pure, doubtless and detached, can one not skip the steps?

(The question amounts to - can one do doctoral research skipping the undergraduate and graduate studies?)

janaka spoke with immense patience.

janaka: Dear young scholar, you are not fully aware of the power of the senses. Unless the mind matures (like the lemon fruit becoming pickle!) attractions will grip you and will try to bind you. The sensory motors will hold you. The eyes beholding beauty, the ears honing to sweet music, the nostrils flaring for fragrance, the palate of the gourmet eager for the best wind and food, and the whole physical body yearning for the pleasures of the couch will want to subdue the phenomenal self. Even a yati could be helpless under the onslaught of the senses!

The steps or phases of the first three ASramas help one to decelerate the runaway senses, to rein those horses of pleasures, to regulate them by floodgates as it were. You see, the person perched on a tree is always afraid of falling if he were to go to sleep, but there is no such fear for him who sleeps on the floor. Those who fly are in the danger (like the birds) of falling, but those who are closer to earth hurt themselves less even if they fall. Walking is safer than flying!

Even in the first three stations, one must learn to practice niShkaamakarma (action sans attachment), practice it well over a long period while performing action, so that, in course of time, it gradually becomes second nature. A truejiivan-mukta is not bound by karma. The first three stages are the preparatory ground for realizing the self effulgent aatman. They help one to be a mere witness for phenomenal existence. A doubting person can never realize that divine spark within.

You know, self or aatman needs no liberation, because it has never been bound in the first instance! If the mind is clear, then the delusion vanishes. I do not have to tell you, learned braahmaNa, that body and the mind are entities separate from the aatman. Intellect is the cause for any such confusion. Seek enlightenment by learning to free your mind from the aatman. It is the business of the senses to divert the intellect away from aatman; and that is maaya. But remember, that for all their mischief, they cannot taint the soul or aatman. However, following the paths of the first three stations of life - brahmacharya, gR^ihasthaaSrama and that of vaanaprastha - one can step on to the fourth with the confidence of the winner. They are prescribed in the scriptures which are never wrong, since they are the touchstone of wisdom and experience of the wisest. The path of the vedas are always auspicious.

Suka: The vedas recognize himsa and other vices. A person enjoying the sense pleasures is bound to have sorrow as a complement. How is it possible to live in a free state of consciousness while being married?

janaka: There is smoke only when wood is burnt. After wood is totally burnt, there is no smoke! Desires are to be completely burnt to do away with smoke or attachment. (baaba: fry even the seed) . Absence of ego binds not even where there is action. Act without thinking of or expecting fruits of action. Neither the action nor the results belong to you. Everything is His.

Suka: It is still not clear to me how one can be detached in the midst of the world of magic. How can moha and mukta be together? Unless the light is switched on darkness cannot vanish. Knowledge of the scriptures is like the light switch. Then the soul attains the love all and serve all status, whereas the married person is circumscribed by his own family limiting his attention. You are falsely promising the thief respect of a saint. Mine and yours can be gotten rid of by the gR^ihastha? How did you become bodiless, keeping at bay the inauspicious even while being engaged in activities that rightly belong to the first three aaSramas? Time cannot bind transcendental state. It can be experienced only by a yogi. Where is the time for you steeped as you are in a multitude of activities? You have an army to take care, a war to wage, a law to enact, a judgment to deliver, a visitor to host and a thousand things to do. How can there be a state of equanimity? It is like a serpent trying to wear a flower garland on its non-existent neck! For the people in the state of awareness, wood and gold are alike. They see the self (aatman) in all creations and serve them naturally as the liberated souls should. Oh! all this is hypothetical and far away from my main question. Convince me that marriage is good for me. As a sannyAsin, I would be aloof; having left the society behind, I would have overcome attachment. My mind would be in constant peace, living the physical existence of an animal, so to say, eating fruits, roots and leaves in the forest, neither seeking nor accepting anything from anybody. I wish to lead this kind of life, away from all sense needs. In this scheme of things and quality existence where is the place for a wife? In the created world of phenomena we recognize forms and their attributes. Creating is nothing but a mishmash of desires and consequent adherence. You claim to be a detached person. You are nothing but an unbelievable contradiction. (Suka's reasoning was not impeccable as it seems. His intellectualization is only an exercise in rationalization from conclusion to the premises, and thus a fundamental flaw in logic. He is overwhelmed by his own certainty, and even starts mocking at the great emperor, clearly exhibiting signs of arrogance and immaturity. He continued) Oh, mighty emperor, you always think of your treasury and taxes, battles won and to be won, men and women to be honored and punished - all that is your duty, is it not? - and anxious. Controlled senses and samsaara! Ugh, what a contradiction. Moderation and ceaseless activity; again, what an inconsistency! So, videha is only a surname for you. It is an unreal and even hypocritical world that you have created for yourself, where the fool is considered as a scholar, where the blind is known as sUrya and the poor considered as mahAlakShmi! You are a videha only because of your lineage and by merit or performance. Talking about lineage, was not nimi your forefather who fought and exchanged curses with vaSiShTha while preparing for a yaJNam for indra? Your life is a strange drama of falsehood.

Suka was exhausted after the outpouring. janaka listened to the vituperation patiently, and replied calmly.

janaka: Well spoken, revered young saint. You spoke much wisdom. vyaasa, your father was my aachaarya. Son of that great preceptor, you are of keener intellect. Oh, you mentioned about the forest and living with the animals. But, pray, are not the five elements in forest too? How can you, then, be dispassionate? You would need food, won't you? You may even need a stick for shooing animals and hide to protect against weather. Nowhere can you totally get rid of anxiety. My own worry is comparable to that. Doubt is worry too, my son. See how far you have traveled to clear a nagging doubt! Your obsession `not to marry' worries you. How can you attain detachment? I am fully conscious of my own anxiety in the realm of action. But I eat and sleep well, because I am not bound by that anxiety; I am serene. You are sad because you imagine things. Remove your doubts. Have a balance of mind that will lead you to a state of bliss. This is not my body, nor is this my house. Banish such thoughts. Absence of thinking that I am this body etc. is a state of nirvikalpa (unwavering and immutable; recognizing no distinction between object and subject and without distinct consciousness of the knower, known and the very act of knowing, and ultimately without even self-consciousness). Possessions do not bind me. You may own just a grain of sand and feel the weight of a mountain, or you may possess the whole world and feel it like a feather. As an intelligent person you have the freedom to choose the right attitude. Enjoy that freedom and use it well, my child! You have my blessings.

Suka was ashamed of his harsh words, and felt humble in the presence of janaka, a peerless sage who taught true renunciation.

He returned to his father who knew that he would - wiser, mellowed and mature. He married pivari who bore four children, kR^iShNa, gauraprabhaa, bhUridevaSR^ta and kIrti.

We thus conclude an interesting episode. The wisdom that janaka shared with Suka should clear our doubts too. There is an appropriate time for any action. We have to follow the traditional wisdom, because there is no question or doubt that has not been asked and not clarified in our scriptures. Celibacy, even in thought, is a somewhat unnatural quality. Renunciation comes more easily after going through the natural process. However, marriage is not a casual arrangement. All of us know that `love' between two young persons is often infatuation or a play of urge. A stable marriage calls for much giving, and the traditional system of arranged marriages is valid even these days when women are economically independent. Often, an `angel' during courtship turns out to be a `devil' soon after marriage, because assessing compatibility is a complex job. The probability of a stable and happy married life is much higher in an arranged wedding, if all the rules are followed. Moreover, the demands of gR^ihasthaaSrama is not restricted just to the man, his wife and children, but also to their extended family. The so called freedom of choice when young people attempt to seek a partner is more a myth than reality, as indicated by hard statistics! There is no shame in following the traditions of proven merit and there need not be a defiant pride in breaking them.