Many ideas and opinions in Hinduism are apparently contradicting one another.
The ideas and perceptions about the presence of dead persons too vary in so many ways.
In some Vedic mantras and Upanishads it is said that some people who have done great deeds like Somayaga, Agnishtoma etc., reach some world akin to Satyaloka through Devayana.
Some others reach Pitruloka through different paths,
Some menton the world of Aryama as the rallying point for Pitrus.
I did not say Pitrus or Pretas become Devas. Someone was vehemently arguing that Piturs are not Devas.. let them be Devas or not .. That is not a subject of discussion here at all.. I just said the Pitrus too attain some status different from man on earth who alone can burn out Karmas or do Karmas.
What I said was that the dead person lived or existed in some other world according to the wealth of Karmas he performed on earth as man or woman.
This is the belief in general prevalent in Hinduism .
So there is no question of resting in peace after death.
Living in Peace or otherwise is restricted to the period when we are living on earth. There is no peace or turmoil in the world in which the departed soul lodges itself.
Secondly the earning and expiating the Karma is by the respective individual and prayer by others can do nothing to help in reducing karmas.
Even when a peson is alive on earth if a he is to receive the results of a prayer by others he should take over the phalam or the essentce of the result, by offering adequate compensation by wayvof Dakshina etc. No dead person can give any such Dakshina.
You said your forefathers have told you that you are connected with three generations of Pitrus alone.
Which forefather or which text did tell you like that. ?
The Pitrus of all generations are there. .Sapinda Pitrus sapinda pitrus lepa pitrus and so on.
The count generations can be infinite.By practice we invoke three generations. That is all.
It cannot be assumed that we are connected with three generations of pitrus alone, just because we mention them alone in Sharddhams or Tarpanams,,
You are presenting ideas which are not there.
And the ideas of Pitrus and Sraddham and rebirth etc are part of Karmakanda and Mimasa or Poorvameemamsa school.
The Moksham, the supreme soul etc., are more of vedantic or Uttarameemasa concepts.
The bhakthi school also would roughly correspond with certain ideas in Vedantam at least on Karma and Moksha.
But Karmakandam and bhakthi have many contradictions with each other.
You can accept the two with such contradictions.
Trying to create explanation to unite them on inadequate understanding is dangerous.
We can adopt Bhakti also along with Karma and try to live with both of them .
But mixing them up can be hazardous and it is unnecessary too.
My post was simply to point out that the dead person reaches a different status where peace or lack of it as understood on earth is not felt by that being.
Therefore the prayer for peace of that dead person is not necessary and it is useless too.
A dead person lying in a coffin waiting for trial and redemption or whatnot is not a Hindu idea. That idea belongs to some other faith. I am not commenting on the merits..
It is valid for those who follow that faith..
I respect that idea when they follow it.
If people are mixing up religions and importing to Hinduism ideas from some other religion that is their problem..and not mine.
And infusing ideas into Hinduism when such ideas are completely against the basic tenets of Hinduism can only confuse or even poison Hinduism.
I have to point out another fact. Rightly or wrongly people just coceive ideas about hazy matters ..ideas which are incorrect or misinterpreted. No one can clarify such ideas.
There is an element of myth and fiction too in the religion. The mythological descriptions often contradict. A wise person normally ignores contradictions in myths and accepts the essence.
After the study of Vedic practices, and related lore too, I tend to feel that Hinduism restricts prayers for the living beings alone.
And in most cases, as a pretha, pitru or some spirit, the dead person reachers a state where he or she is a sort of deva or some such being, to whom we pray..
Even in shraaddham or aparakriya mantrams,
we are usually praying to the respective spirits
and the accompanying vishve devas and the protector of shraddha the Vishnu ..
This being the case, I doubt whether anyone can pray for the dead..
If moksha is to be attained by the dead, that moksha is reached when the life leaves the human body..
and through theory of Karma,
it can be inferred that if the emancipation is not reached by the time of death,
the soul or jeeva has to assume another body,
wear out the Karma and once again attempt to attain moksha..
And so the prayer if any for Moksha seems to be possible only before death.. and preferably by the person who is inheriting the Karma..
Of course Hindu ethos are a hotchpotch and some swamiji or periyavaa may hold a different view too.
But this is what I could understand after all these years of study
