We cannot make rules for ourselves..

while on pithru karyams, an interesting episode described in Harivamshamahaapuranam comes to mind..

Bheshama Pitamaha was conducting the Sradham of his father Shantanu.. The pindam or the or the morsel of cooked rice has to be offered according to scriptures by placing it on the ground..

भूमौ दत्तेन पिण्डेन bhoomau dattena pindena ...

Shantanu was impressed by the sacrifice of Bhishma while he was alive and also by the meticulousness with which his son was conducting the Shraadham..

So while Bheeshma was about to place the pindam on the ground as per vedic rules, a right hand with golden bangles was seen protruding, and asking that the pindam should be personally handed over..

From the shape of the hand and the golden bangle Bheeshmapitamaha could see that King Shantanu was just showing his hand to receive the pindam offered..

With due respect for his father, Bheeshma declined to place the pindam on the outstretched hand and placed the same on the ground..

His idea was that love for the father should not stand in the way of directions by the Vedas and scriptures..

The pithrus with Visvedevas and Lord Vishnu the protector of the Sradham are present and it was a yajna witness by Swdhaa..

The pindam has to be placed on earth paying respects to Swadhaa, the devi of Aryama and and it was she who had to convey it to the deities in the Pithruloka..

The eternal laws should never be flouted..

Shantanu realized that what his son Bhishma did was right and was immensely pleased..

And it was for his adherence to this Sraddha dharma that Shantnu blessed Bheeshma with the boon that Bheeshma would live as long as he wished and that he could select the time of his death..

The rigorous rules of Sraaddha are given in detail in Garuda Puranam, Harivamsam, Agni puranam, and even in Mahabharatham..

We cannot make rules for ourselves..

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The great Scholar Kshemendra, in his Charucharya.. a compilation of one hundred slokas by way of instructions in the dharmic way of life says

श्राद्धम् श्रद्धान्वितं कुर्याच्छास्त्रोक्तेनैव वर्त्मना।

भुवि पिण्डं ददौ विद्वान् भीष्मः पाणौ न शन्तनोः॥५

क्षेमेन्द्रकविप्रणीते चारुचर्यायाम्॥

śrāddham śraddhānvitaṁ kuryācchāstroktenaiva vartmanā|

bhuvi piṇḍaṁ dadau vidvān bhīṣmaḥ pāṇau na śantanoḥ||5

kṣemendrakavipraṇīte cārucaryāayām||

The Shraadham should be performed with all attention, devotion and meticulous care. And the procedure to be followed should be exactly as per the dictats of the Shastras.. No deviation is permitted.

The great scholar and seer Bheeshma pitamaha offered the Pindam on the surface of earth and did not give it to Shantanu in his hands even when Shantanu extended his palms to receive the pindam from Bheeshma.

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Can we offer Vengaya(onion) Saambar and Potato hot curry as naivedyam to God? I do not think so..

We never venture to do so..